Take Back your Power; Be the Creator of your Life

(originally written January 6, 2010)

I’m lying here, wide awake, wondering why I’m feeling this way – a sudden wave of sadness, which can’t be explained by my head. A simple pain stinging my heart. But why? Everything is on the right track right now, and I’m so excited by this growth I’m experiencing.

All a sudden, it hits me. Loneliness – that’s what I’m feeling. I know everything I’m going through is good, but it still causes some pain. Pain for losing my old self, being stripped away from her. I know I’m not her anymore, but it’s definitely hard to let go of someone you’ve become so attached to over the years.

And it’s not just loneliness from this separation. It’s also knowing that I have to go through this by myself – knowing I can’t let in anyone who is going to try to fill my head with negative ideas. Because this is the time I need to listen to Spirit/God/my Higher Self more than anything. And it’s hard to hear me when everyone else is yacking in my ear. It’s time I realize that I am the only true authority on what I want in life, what I need, what my true path is that I should be following.

All my life, I’ve learned to live in this bubble of fear. And I was convinced that others knew what was right for me, when in reality, I knew all along. No wonder I grew up to be so afraid of the world. Fear has been ingrained in me all my life, as it has with many people in this world. And then we wonder why our self-esteem suffers, why we lack the confidence to go after what we truly want in life instead of just what was set up for us. Why do we let others create us? Create our lives? It’s a sad truth in this world, but we always have the ability to take back our power. For the first time in my life, I feel complete freedom to take what I want, to do what I want, to see myself as who I really am and not what I was trying to be for everyone else. It’s absolutely amazing to feel and see this now. I am truly blessed.

And part of this process, a big part actually, is the realization that God/the universe has it all taken care of for us. All we have to do is trust in that and let it be. Everything happens in perfect order and perfect timing. And it’s all taken care of. We just have to claim it. Just that realization alone has taken away so much anguish and fear and anxiety. It’s like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders.

So, with all these changes, now what? I guess I’ll just keep traveling down my path, listening to my Spirit along the way. And allow myself to experience the loneliness that comes with this journey. I know that when I’m ready, Life will bring me that connection I long for with others. Until then, I will keep listening to my Higher Self and growing toward God, toward Love and Peace, toward my true destination.

“. . . There will be an answer; Let it be, Let it be. . ."

Listen to “Let it Be” by the Beatles here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBPFvp750sc

Just a Note about Upcoming Posts

I've been wanting to start a blog for awhile now but just kept putting it off, thinking I wasn't ready yet. Of course, it's a lot easier than I made it out to be in my head. However, I have been writing a lot lately, and it all pertains to the growth and the realizations I've had this last year. So, I will include some older stuff I've written down on paper in this blog because I think they're important to the overall feel of my writing and how I've been changing and growing. I will also include the original date, in case anyone is curious.

Who am I? And Why am I here?

They're questions we all ask at some point in our lives. And if you're like me, they're questions you constantly struggle with. So, that's why I'm here creating my own space to write and share with others my thoughts, my anxieties, my epiphanies, etc. while I go through this journey of self-discovery and self-growth.

At the age of 25 (almost 26 now), I have just realized that I never really took the time to understand myself and why I am the way I am and why I do the things I do. For the past six months or so, I've been awakening to the realization that we truly are spiritual beings living in the physical world. And that there's so much there we can't see until we choose to open our eyes, as well as our hearts, to it, to Spirit, to the universe and all its divine truths we are here to learn.

Writing is a huge part of my life, and I think I'd be lost without it. It comforts me when I feel hopeless. It helps me connect to my Spirit and find the answers I'm searching for in this big world full of uncertainty and sometimes pain and heartache. And even though writing is really a way for me to heal myself, I can only hope that my writing will help others by inspiring them to choose a life of Love and peace as well.

I must warn you, however, that my posts may be random at times. For me, this is my journal now, so I need to be able to express myself in my own way. I will always welcome comments from anyone reading this. You may also e-mail me anytime if you choose. Just please be respectful in any communication you have with me.

One thing I want to make clear is the fact that even though I have been on a spiritual journey and am realizing new truths for me constantly, in no way does that mean that I have all the answers or that my truths will be the same as yours. I don't like to push my beliefs on people, and I am a strong believer in acceptance, of yourself and of others. Because with acceptance comes a great sense of peace.

So, here in my space, I am going to vow to always be totally honest and sincere in my writing with nothing but pure intentions of healing myself, as well as others, and allow myself this freedom as a way to understanding who I am, God, Life, etc. and as a way to keep growing spiritually as I follow my path. May Love and peace be with you as you travel your own path.


Namaste,
Kimberly